Tuesday, September 13, 2016
Ki Teitzei #1- Why make her ugly?
This question comes from the first perek of the parsha in pesukim yud through yud daled. In the pesukim it explains if a man is at war, and he seems someone who he becomes attracted to he has to make her ugly. (Eshet yefat toar) Rashi says he should make her ugly so that way this women will become repulsive. He should shave her head, and let her nails grow. My question is, why is Hashem making this man make this women ugly? What is the purpose of it if hashem is going to allow this man to marry her anyways after he makes her ugly?
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Or Hachaim says, when Adam Harishon ate from the poison tree, his soul burst and sparks came out. The devil/satan took capture of these sparks and Bnei Yisraels goal is to try to get them back and return them to where they belong. The soldiers who went to war were righteous Tzadikim, and because of that he was most likely attracted to her spark inside her, not her physical beauty. He wanted to bring her back to the Jewish Nation not only for his attraction, but for the spark too.
ReplyDeleteRashi explains that the reason why Hashem wants us to make the woman ugly is because the only reason the man is attracted to her is because she is beautiful. He says that Hashem doesn’t want you to marry her based on sole attraction because if he does he will ultimately come to despise her. Rashi is explaining that Hashem wants you to marry her for reasons other than beauty. Otherwise you will soon realize that she is not a woman who you want to be married to.
ReplyDeleteAish.com says that the reason for the man having to make the woman "ugly" is because there is a big difference between lust or passion and wanting due to a logical reason that something is the right choice for you. When the Torah says, "And it will be if you did not want her...", it uses the past tense to explain that if his wanting to marry her was out of lust and a passion for her outer beauty, he never actually wanted her from the start. Hashem makes the man get rid of this outer beauty so that the man will know he genuinely loves her.
ReplyDeleteAccording to Sifrei the reason that we have to make the women ugly is because the enemy forced their daughters to beautify themselves with their hair and clothing in order to entice and distract the enemy during war time. By forcing the women to take away their outward signs of beauty such as her beautiful nails, their hair and their clothing we thereby disgrace the enemy.
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ReplyDeleteRashi says, the reason why Hashem tells them to make the woman ugly is so the man will soon be repulsed by her. The Torah doesn't really want these men to take these women as their wives. Therefore, Hashem makes many rules, to shave her head, grow her nails, etc so that the man will soon not desire this woman and won't want to marry her anymore. Hashem allows the men to take these women but makes all these rules just to make the men not want the women anymore. - Sari Alexander
ReplyDeleteThe ramban says that there are two reasons for why the men make the women shave their heads and cut their nails. The first reason is because it is a sign of mourning for the women who have recently lost their family's and are at war. The second reason is that these are generally ways that women make themselves attractive. there is an idea that women used to dress up on the battle field to attract enemy soilders. Ramban also believe that by doing these things the men will no longer be attracted to the women.
ReplyDeleteRashi's explains the reason that if you are in war and a man gets attracted to a woman that you have to make her ugly. He explains that naturally men are attracted to women by their beauty, and that if you eliminate her beauty you will be able to see the real her instead of "falling in love with her" because you are so attracted to her, and then you wind up despising her because of her actual self. Ultimately, Rashi explains how here Hashem is just showing his care because He doesn't want people having a failed marriage that started based off of a woman's beauty, but instead find other reasons and ways to fall in love with a woman. For this reason, Hashem has created rules so that these men don't end up having wives that they don't truly love. So once the men take these women, and after doing all that Hashem commands them to do (to make them more unappealing/ugly) then that man will realize that that woman isn't for him. (I agree with Rashi when he explains that Hashem made these rules for a reason. That in order to avoid a false marriage or relationship, unfortunately so, you must take away a woman's beauty so the man can love her and see her for who she really is)
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ReplyDelete'The Midrash Says' says that the gentile woman is not simply making herself ugly, rather she is going through a month of purification that serves two purposes. The first (regarding to the fact that she must shave her hair, let her nails grow long, and exchange her beautiful garments for mourning clothes), is so that the future husband will see the woman without all of her external beauty, in the hopes that he will change his mind, assuming he only loved her for her external embellishments. The second purpose is to help the gentile woman adjust to her future husband, home, and community. This time is used to disassociate herself with her past life, a life of idols and non-Jews, and adjust to her new life of being a Jewish woman who keeps all of the mitzvot. – Chana Kolber
ReplyDeleteRashi explains that the reason the man has to shave her head and grow her nails long is to be sure he wants to marry her out of love, and not just pure attraction. He says that if you marry her because of attraction you will not love her as your wife and will realize you did not actually want to marry her. The Torah is trying to teach us to marry for true love and respect for one another, not for any other possible reason. If the man really does love and respect her after she is made ugly, he is allowed to marry her because it shows he really does love the woman, even after she is unattractive. I think we're taught a very important lesson here, to look past our exteriors and focus on the interior.
ReplyDelete-Gabrielle Posner
Hadas Krasner:
ReplyDeleteAccording to Aish.com, the purpose of the eshet Yefet toar is to see if the Jewish soldier has a deep attraction to her. After a soldier takes advantage of a woman, he is required to bring her home. At that point she is made to be ugly. If the soldier still likes the women, it is obvious that the attraction is more than just physical. After that, she will convert and they will get married.
The Torah was given to man and takes into consideration his weaknesses. It considered it futile to prohibit marriage to woman captives of war.
ReplyDeleteThis is compared to a prince, who wanted a certain food that was bad for him. His father, the king warned him many times not to eat the food. Once the father saw that the son would not listen he told the son to take certain precautions against the food (Midrash Ha-gadol-Rabbi David HaEdni)
Rav Haim Ben Attar (the Or Hachaim) says that it says in the pasuk that the soldiers who went to war were very holy, therefore, if they fell in love with a woman, it was probably not only for her physical appearance, but for more than that (her neshamah). The soldier would have to take away all of her beauty and make her ugly in order to make sure he still liked her and it was not only for looks. If he still loved her without her good looks, then he would be able to convert her and marry her. I think there is a very important lesson to take away from this mitzvah- the inside (neshamah) matters much more than the outside (physical appearance). A person should not get married based on their spouses physical appearance, what matters is their neshamah. A connection with your spouses neshamah is so important that we take away the physical beauty of a woman in order to make sure the man is in love with her not only for her beauty but for her neshamah also. -- Gabriela Beyda
ReplyDeleteRav Haim Ben Attar (the Or Hachaim) says that it says in the pasuk that the soldiers who went to war were very holy, therefore, if they fell in love with a woman, it was probably not only for her physical appearance, but for more than that (her neshamah). The soldier would have to take away all of her beauty and make her ugly in order to make sure he still liked her and it was not only for looks. If he still loved her without her good looks, then he would be able to convert her and marry her. I think there is a very important lesson to take away from this mitzvah- the inside (neshamah) matters much more than the outside (physical appearance). A person should not get married based on their spouses physical appearance, what matters is their neshamah. A connection with your spouses neshamah is so important that we take away the physical beauty of a woman in order to make sure the man is in love with her not only for her beauty but for her neshamah also. -- Gabriela Beyda
ReplyDeleteEliana Zelig
ReplyDeleteThe ohr hachaim says at a man must come back to war righteous. To know if he is righteous, it will be tested if he comes back and he still wants to stay married to his wife, since she is no longer physically beautiful, and the man would only be attracted to her inner beauty which would prove his righteousness.
Rikki Grossman:
ReplyDeletethe Kabbalist have a view that the whole idea of the beautiful women is that the woman represents a soul and the soul is a beautiful thing trapped in a bad area just like the woman was held captive so the one Hachaim teaches us that this is a lesson that we have to be kind and sensitive towards the pain of the soul because only we have the power to free her of this pain
have a great shabbas!!